Some Stuff

Lately while exercising or at work (doing mindless tasks) I think of embarassing things I’ve said or done in the past. College courses and awkward moments at previous jobs often come to mind. Sometimes even comments I’ve made online or crap from high school permeate the brain! Some people laugh out loud when they remember a funny joke and I wish I could laugh but instead when I remember these embarrassing moments (or become embarrassed about something that wasn’t embarrassing at the time) I tend to literally grit my teeth and moan out loud as if I had a stomach ache. I know these memories don’t mean much but for some reason they keep coming back to me. So I thought, what if I post something that I knew was embarrassing or that I am a little insecure about simply to get it off my chest. Maybe, in some weird way, it will help all the other embarrassments go away. Diminish them a little? Make them void?

Probably not… here is a statement I wrote (semi) recently:

And here is a short list (if nothing else, that statement proves that I can certainly write a list) of things I find embarrassing about the statement:

1) I forgot the “the” at the end of the first paragraph. 2) The very last sentence reminds me of that old cliche, “If a tree falls down in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?” (or something like that). And 3) it’s soooo flippin’ dramatic. I mean, that whole first paragraph? Artists get pretty serious about their content but some (namely me) have a hard time making it relate-able without sounding all sappy and super self-important.

And here is something a little less embarrassing but applicable:

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    • Eric Murphy
    • May 17th, 2012

    I know exactly what you mean; all I can say is don’t be so bloody hard on yourself. None of it matters!

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